A Spark Amidst the Ashes

Some time ago, during a at home Holy Communion call, I struck up a conversation with the elderly woman I was visiting.  I asked her about her children, her late husband's job and the place where she raised her family.  Sadly, she could not remember much about these things.  She could not remember all the names of her children and grandchildren, the name of the town where she raised them or what her husband did to support them.  And she knew it.  She told me how sad she was that she could not remember.  I then asked her if she could remember the street she grew up on.  Her eyes lit up and she told me the name of the street in Brooklyn.  I asked her if she could remember the name of her parish and the light in her eyes was there again as she said the name.  Not only could she remember who she was, her sadness turned to joy as she told me about that place that was not so far away, but very present in her mind.  The spark of her true self still burned.

I thought of this visit as we marked the beginning of the season of Lent, with Ash Wednesday.  I was almost surprised to see our church so full at 7:30 last night, because after the crowds we experienced throughout the day, it was hard to believe that there was anyone left in our town who had not come to receive ashes, but fill the church once more they did.  The response to this day is hard to figure out, the phone calls inquiring about the times for distribution started a week earlier.  What is it that makes them come? Perhaps it is similar to the spark of recognition that I saw in the woman I visited.  For the Ash Wednesday crowds, the spark of faith and true identity is still burning.

Traditionally the ashes used on this day come from the palm branches used at the beginning of Holy Week, a year ago.  A year ago, Holy Week concluded and Easter began with the new fire.  That new fire was used to light the candles held by the congregation at the Easter Vigil. On that night the church was aglow with all of these individual flames of faith.  Throughout the year we all did our best to keep the flame of faith burning.  The passion of our faith carried us through the joys and sorrows of the year, but despite our best efforts it began to dim and the ash began to build.  The spark however is still there.

The Gospel we use on Ash Wednesday seems a bit incongruent for the occasion. Here we are publicly signing ourselves with an outward symbol as we listen to a gospel passage that tells us to keep our penitential acts secret.  Our public act of being signed with ashes is simply a communal recognition of the private work that now begins.  The ashes remind us of our mortality and that despite our attempts to live good lives, we are not yet good enough.  We have work to do.  The spark of faith will becoming a growing flame if we do the private work of prayer, fasting and almsgiving throughout these next 40 days.  The public act of Ash Wednesday reveals to us that the ember of faith is still there.  We do not simply remember what we once were, but we are recommitted to being our true selves made in the image and likeness of God.  Ash Wednesday calls us to fan the ember of faith through acts of penance and spiritual renewal. 

The phone calls and the crowds of Ash Wednesday always bring me hope, because I believe that the experience is a revelation of the spark of faith that still burns among the ashes of our lives.  I know that among the crowds there were many who had not been to church for a very long time. They were there with those who are in church every day and every week -- and each one of us has become ashen over time.  We forget who we are and the light of faith has dimmed - but through this simple sign, we remember who we are and we inspired not to travel back in time, but live today, alive in faith.  

When I was a Boy Scout, I learned to never assume that a campfire was completely out, there could always be an ember still burning that could light a new fire.  As a priest and more importantly as a disciple, I have learned to never assume that the light of faith is completely burned out, there could still be an ember amidst the ashes of ones life.  Somehow the tradition of Ash Wednesday makes that spark come alive so that the soul who desires it may be renewed in the weeks ahead.